not so good today...

...but I thought it'd been a few days since I posted anything, so I'd best put something down.

Not too bad a week. Little bit up and down. My sheep tea cosy is going well. I did accidentally buy the two tea cosy books from Waterstones on Thursday. I didn't intend on getting both of them, but then I was looking, and I thought they were more expensive than they are, so it just sort of happened.

Yesterday was a little busier - I had a full day planned: go to Covent Garden to try on shoes for my sister (bridesmaid ones.) then find Pure Juniper to get a tea pot stand. After that, down to Sloane Square to get to Partridges to buy Blueberry Sauce (again, wedding stuff. This is for the cake) A quick stop at the V and A - still a member, so got to use it, and they've just opened a new exhibition on Horace Walpole and Strawberry. Well worth a visit. Back up to Oxford Street, to head to Marks and Spencers for a bit of cake and some tea, and off to John Lewis' to get a leaf thing I saw in my mum's Ideal Home magazine, and a shirt and dress from Dorothy Perkins.

All this went to plan. very full, but got it all done. Only after a stop at Boots in Liverpool Street station though. This wasn't a planned stop, but I was sat on the tube, with a healthy breakfast of tea and hot cross bun (it was early, and cold!) and felt something hard in my mouth. My tooth (well, not mine, but one my mum paid to have put in instead of the one that was there. She loves me, so she bought me crowns) was out. Not only the tooth, but the little metal stick it's held in with! So I wandered about a bit looking dazed, until a kindly security guard pointed me in the direction of the dental stuff.

Its glued back in now - no pain or anything, as its not a real tooth. But it did throw me for the rest of the day!

A bit less busy today. Think the shopping yesterday took it out of me. If I have too much in my head one day, I do tend to drop after a while. It happened before Christmas, when I went shopping with my mum, but luckily she knows it happens, and watches me, if I get too manic. It is sort of strange - it's not manic depression i have, just the ordinary kind, but I still get these swings, that I have to try and be aware of to control. Trying to stop myself falling at the moment, as I've not heard from blokey since Friday. Ordinarily, I know this is not unusual, or in anyway bad, but if I'm not on form, I tend to see a thousand negatives where there shouldn't be. All of a sudden I get the doubt come into my head, and I've got him married to someone else, or he's decided he really doesn't want anything to do with me - they're just the ones I'm willing to admit to. It's a whole world of crazy when my mind starts a-wandering!

Anyway. Like I said, I have to try and keep perspective on the world, and keep calm. so I'm off to watch In the Loop on BBC2, and have some tea and cake. It does tend to help matters.

hi

Hello. Been away for a while, but I think I'm feeling a bit better now. We'll see how it goes.

I'm not going to go through my past 7 months or so, as that would be dull, and I can't be bothered. But to recap there was Christmas, my sister got engaged, is making me wear green satin, I'm making her wedding cake, and I have a fringe.

I also got another year older, booked a week in Brussels - again, on my own, hence only as far as Belgium again. My job is still crappy, and I'm still single. But a fella in Scotland is a possibility to change that one...

I've been officially diagnosed as having pcos, had my ordinary meds upped, and new ones added, so now I rattle in the mornings.

Think thats it for now. Oh, and I'm making my mum a sheep teacosy. In loop stitch.

I'm going to try and get back into this whole thing. May take me a while to get the hang of it again, but I think it may help a bit, so I'll give it a go...

If you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all.

I've always felt there's a time and a place for the phrase above. It's not one I generally stick to if Im honest - theres always a good comment to be snuck in somewhere.

But i think here its best to abide by it. And I'm not in the best of places right now, so probably best if I wait till I've something positive to write. Unfortunately, i can tell when I'm not feeling so good, when I start shopping for stuff, particularly in John Lewis. In the past week, I've acquired a waffle iron, two tops and a biscuit tin.

Always a bit like this around holidays. They get me worked up and nervous beforehand, panicky during travel, i relax a bit for a couple of days, then get miserable about the coming home. when I get home, i have to remember what the everyday work thing is about, so it makes me even more rubbish! Just crap at change.

I will be back in a bit. When I've calmed down a bit, and have adjusted again. And hidden my credit cards.

Almost there...

Seaside swap stuff done, and in a box, to be sent.

Ten Sock Monkeys have got legs and tails sewn on, with velcro on their feet. Just the arms mouths and ears to sew on.

Year end at work, (where all the systems get turned off to be reconciled. Seriously, anyone ever heard of a company doing that!? Told friends in finance, and they think I'm joking!) so all busy and stuff, until tomorrow night at about five, when we're done. That said, not as busy as last year, when I was concentrating on a future with the company, and happy to do a bit of unpaid overtime. Not this year.

But most importantly, I've been accepted for the Anthony Nolan Register, and have to get a sample of blood taken. I'm doing this by going to my local hospital next Tuesday morning. By typing that, and publishing it to the interweb, I have to go now. No matter how scary needles are! Nobody believes that I hate blood tests and injections, because of my pierced past. But it's a whole different matter.

My parents were both on the register for many years but are now too old, so I felt I should take over. It's part of the international register of bone marrow donors, and once your on, it tends to be in for the long haul. The whole idea of how they get the stuff out is a different matter, but its something I want to do, so I'm just ignoring that bit for now!

Pics of seaside swap to follow, when I know it's been received.

sort-of back.

Just a bit of a rough spell. Taking my meds properly now, so should perk up a bit in a couple of days. But I'm also taking the advice I've always received, (and ignored) and given up smoking. This may have been partially responsible for the mood swings and depression bit recently. So Im trying to counterbalance this by keeping Thorntons afloat, and myself afloat by returning to the swimming.

The aching from yesterdays swim is starting to creep into my arms and legs now.

I did do some sewing tonight, and made a start on some cupcake magnets, and deciding what else to make in felt. Will get some pictures on here when I've made something worth looking at!

But I did find this article in my google reader feeds today. So if it helps my health, can I get posh wool on the NHS?