Back.

Well, it took me a bit longer than a fortnight to get back on track.

I've been away from here a while, trying to sort out what I'm doing with my life.

The holiday was good and bad. It was good to be away from work, and the rain I'm presuming drenched London in my absence- no really, this was the view from my window!

I learnt that Wheel of Fortune is just as good in french, especially when you're sat next to your mum with a dictionary on her lap.

But as it was a little village in the middle of nowhere, it gave me too much thinking time. That's really not good for me.

I also get a bit miserable around birthdays (only my own, I'm very good at other peoples!) and therefore September is never great for me. but that was last Friday. Safely out of the way now, and I get to be 24 for another year.

However. I've realised that I need an aim in my life again. With that in mind, I've also realised I made a mistake in my job move. Not that I would have stayed at my old one, but shouldn't have taken the one I'm at. Following lengthy discussions with my dad (he's very good at them. We've had many) I think I'm going to stay in finance, and try and get a future in it. Which means a job move to somewhere that can offer me that. With a bit of luck, Hackney Council. I believe I may be the first person to have ever used that phrase! Apologies to those unaware of the view of Hackney by the rest of London. It's never been the popular borough, but it's the one next to me, so I'll go there!

There's a few trainee accountancy positions there, promoting the whole training part. So now I just need to convince them I'm the girl they want!

Aside from my work based stuff, I've still not done too much craft wise. Took my knitting on holiday, but to be honest only did a little bit. But I've bought some lovely fabric to make skirts with. One is a nice olive green needlecord, and the other an Amy Butler print from John Lewis, also in green. The pic below doesnt really do it justice, but you can see the pattern. And tonight on my way back from work, I accosted a bloke working in the window of Next (the one next to Chancery Lane tube- very helpful staff!) and have made him put the last green cardi from the window aside for me till the morning. Anyone spot a colour theme? It's because my mum's trying to wean me off black. I bought a purple dress too. She's very proud.

I've also topped up my knitting projects. Theres a blanket to start- had a row/discussion about a pattern with the woman in my wool shop, as she couldnt see how it would work. And I've got my fluffy wool to make my sister's boyfriends daughter a buinny for christmas. I have no bunny pattern, but a bear one instead. I'm just doing longer ears, and a pom-pom.

I did happen to find a great website from CRAFT magazine, particularly handy if travelling somewhere new. It's Knitmap and you just put in your location, and it finds you shops to go to! It's international as well.

I must also mention that following a "delivery issue" with Royal Mail (Of course I was out at 11am on a weekday- I work!) I have received my robot from Flurogoddess. It's a lovely squishy robot called Roxy, and she's ever so sweet. I would show a pic, but I have no idea where my camera is. There should be pics up of them all at the flickr page though...

Think that me done for today. Hopefully won't be so long til my next post, and I may even have finished something! Now off to watch my recorded new best TV show. How have I been unaware of Gilmore Girls for 8 years? Its everything I look for in a drama! Not the best TV perhaps, but the kind that makes you feel all warm inside. Can i also mention I have had 14 piercings and multicoloured hair at the height of my punk-metal past. Just to remind myself I was tough and strong once, and not always this soft!!

Slacker

I have spent the whole bank holiday weekend thinking of doing some sewing, or knitting, or something craft based. But have done nothing. Zip. Nada. Not even baked. I kept meaning to, but somehow never got around to it.

But with a bit of luck, I'll be able to get back on track in a fortnight, when I will be on my holidays*!

Just needed to add that bit. Holidays. In a fortnight. Yay!



*France for a week with parents, my sister and her fella.

Honesty is the best policy.

I've been away from here a while. I'm trying to keep writing here regularly, to use this partly to have somewhere to talk about my craft stuff (nobody else will listen!) but partly for the cathartic benefits.Unfortunately, I've been having a bit of a bad time, recently. Nothing serious, no injury, or major trauma, just not often up to much more than work, sleep, and switching off in front of the TV.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 15. Since then, I've seen a variety of counsellors, psychiatrists, had some bad times, had some ok ones. I've been on antidepressants for about 12 years (about the time I started smoking, actually. Any port in a storm, I suppose) and am now settled into a prozac enhanced world. I've had some rough bits early on, but got through them, and been able to move on, going to college, getting a job, and most recently, living on my own.

But all this means that I'm not always on top form. And it also means, I spend a lot of time, thinking about when is a good time to mention it. This is a common problem. Finding people to trust as friends is hard. Many haven't stuck around when they find out. I suppose they think I'll turn psycopath, when in reality, it all just means I can be a miserable bint at times. It also means I can struggle to keep a fella. It's hard enough in London when you don't drink that much, and don't listen to dance music, let alone putting an issue like "when do I mention the pills?" part into the mix!

That's why I ended up on the dating website (btw- latest update, is a not bad date last friday, second one this week, to go to the pictures. )

I apologise- I'm now rambling. But I wanted to be honest, and give a reason why I may be irregular with posts, some may be up, some down, some a little peculiar!

Anyway. Back to the craft stuff. My denim quilt has been delayed in completion, due to the suprising unavailabiltiy of fleece, in August. I'm going for fleece rather than wadding for the middle, as I want it warm, but as thin and light as possible. The denim is heavy enough, without the added weight of conventional middle bits (what is the proper technical term? I always just use top, middle and bottom. Am I just ignorant?) But I have found some. In the form of dog blankets. They're brand new, so all clean, and sewn together will be just the right size. Just feels a bit strange to be using them, than proper fabric-shop fabric.

I have also aquired some new yarn from ebay. It's Sidar denim stuff, and I'm going to make a patchwork blanket out of it. I found the pattern on Ravelry- its Berrocco's Mu Shu. It's got a lovely marl to the yarn which I think will look nice. I like the idea of reducing in the middle, bringing the two sides in to meet. But then I have a thing about triangles.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. I know this is a bit of a strange entry. But it feels a lot better, to be open about it all. Now just got to try and get on an upward keel. If you can (grammatically) have that? You get the gist, I'm sure!

I'd like to make a public apology to my sewing machine..

It took a whole load of Sunday, and a few hours yesterday, but i have finished the top of my denim quilt!

This picture had to be taken in the hall outside my flat- I don't have a space big enough to lay it flat, unless its over my bed. It weighs a lot- almost killed my little sewing machine.

I went straight for the leather needles, rather than risk any ordinary ones. I ended up sewing through around 5 layers of denim at some points.

I've also bent 10 pins out of shape, just trying to keep the pieces together.

I'm afraid I must also make a bit of a confession. I know the rules of quilting and patchwork. know when to pin, tack, iron, and the importance of all of these, and the need for accuracy in the lines you sew, but trust me- these all have to go out of the window when you're faced with a rivet that's sat right in the way.
Some of the seams would sew fine, but when I tried to iron them flat, the fabric was having none of it.

Took forever to get it all in the right place. I ended up having to label it all, and map out where each piece went.

The next step, is to get the back onto it. Im not using wadding, as I think it would make it too thick, really. Going to use fleece instead, as it will still give it warmth and a bit of softness, but not too much more weight.

The backing is a lovely bright pink tartan, and a yellow satin bias binding for the edge. So I need to plan how to quilt it. Obviously anything too twiddley or delicate is out. The pattern recommends a few running stitch wavy lines across it, in a bright colour to match the backing. But I don't know if that might look odd against the geometric denim. Im thinking maybe just some french knots at the corners of the squares, or something. Any ideas are most welcome!!

Just one more day at work, til my lieu day! Off to see my retired dad on Thursday, and go out for the day. My parents live in Herts, so my mum had suggested a museum, or something in London. But I'm thinking Cambridge. Not really so good going for a day out in London when I'm there everyday for work! Need something middle ground, to appease us both. Not too country, not too city.

I've now got my swap partner for the robot swap! I was wondering where I'd end up sending my creation(s)and it turns out its a bit more local this time, and is flurogoddess. Only a bit outside London! Now got to think of what to do...

***writing this watching The Culture Show (Love you auntie LaLa!) I must see the new Hellboy film! Just saw their review, and a clip. ***

Right. Off to check my emails from my dating website. I promise I am being very careful, and sensible. Both for personal safety and also emotional. But I am having some lovely chats with some nice sounding boys...!