he didn't show.

eek!

So, I'm meant to be meeting blokey tomorrow. His train gets in about 6, and I'm meeting him at the station. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm really nervous and scared too!

What if he changes his mind, and doesn't show up? What if we meet and don't 'click'? What if we meet and we do?!

I've told him a lot about who I am, about what I'm like. But I'm different in person. Everyone is. But I really want this to work out. It'd be lovely.

not so good today...

...but I thought it'd been a few days since I posted anything, so I'd best put something down.

Not too bad a week. Little bit up and down. My sheep tea cosy is going well. I did accidentally buy the two tea cosy books from Waterstones on Thursday. I didn't intend on getting both of them, but then I was looking, and I thought they were more expensive than they are, so it just sort of happened.

Yesterday was a little busier - I had a full day planned: go to Covent Garden to try on shoes for my sister (bridesmaid ones.) then find Pure Juniper to get a tea pot stand. After that, down to Sloane Square to get to Partridges to buy Blueberry Sauce (again, wedding stuff. This is for the cake) A quick stop at the V and A - still a member, so got to use it, and they've just opened a new exhibition on Horace Walpole and Strawberry. Well worth a visit. Back up to Oxford Street, to head to Marks and Spencers for a bit of cake and some tea, and off to John Lewis' to get a leaf thing I saw in my mum's Ideal Home magazine, and a shirt and dress from Dorothy Perkins.

All this went to plan. very full, but got it all done. Only after a stop at Boots in Liverpool Street station though. This wasn't a planned stop, but I was sat on the tube, with a healthy breakfast of tea and hot cross bun (it was early, and cold!) and felt something hard in my mouth. My tooth (well, not mine, but one my mum paid to have put in instead of the one that was there. She loves me, so she bought me crowns) was out. Not only the tooth, but the little metal stick it's held in with! So I wandered about a bit looking dazed, until a kindly security guard pointed me in the direction of the dental stuff.

Its glued back in now - no pain or anything, as its not a real tooth. But it did throw me for the rest of the day!

A bit less busy today. Think the shopping yesterday took it out of me. If I have too much in my head one day, I do tend to drop after a while. It happened before Christmas, when I went shopping with my mum, but luckily she knows it happens, and watches me, if I get too manic. It is sort of strange - it's not manic depression i have, just the ordinary kind, but I still get these swings, that I have to try and be aware of to control. Trying to stop myself falling at the moment, as I've not heard from blokey since Friday. Ordinarily, I know this is not unusual, or in anyway bad, but if I'm not on form, I tend to see a thousand negatives where there shouldn't be. All of a sudden I get the doubt come into my head, and I've got him married to someone else, or he's decided he really doesn't want anything to do with me - they're just the ones I'm willing to admit to. It's a whole world of crazy when my mind starts a-wandering!

Anyway. Like I said, I have to try and keep perspective on the world, and keep calm. so I'm off to watch In the Loop on BBC2, and have some tea and cake. It does tend to help matters.

hi

Hello. Been away for a while, but I think I'm feeling a bit better now. We'll see how it goes.

I'm not going to go through my past 7 months or so, as that would be dull, and I can't be bothered. But to recap there was Christmas, my sister got engaged, is making me wear green satin, I'm making her wedding cake, and I have a fringe.

I also got another year older, booked a week in Brussels - again, on my own, hence only as far as Belgium again. My job is still crappy, and I'm still single. But a fella in Scotland is a possibility to change that one...

I've been officially diagnosed as having pcos, had my ordinary meds upped, and new ones added, so now I rattle in the mornings.

Think thats it for now. Oh, and I'm making my mum a sheep teacosy. In loop stitch.

I'm going to try and get back into this whole thing. May take me a while to get the hang of it again, but I think it may help a bit, so I'll give it a go...

If you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all.

I've always felt there's a time and a place for the phrase above. It's not one I generally stick to if Im honest - theres always a good comment to be snuck in somewhere.

But i think here its best to abide by it. And I'm not in the best of places right now, so probably best if I wait till I've something positive to write. Unfortunately, i can tell when I'm not feeling so good, when I start shopping for stuff, particularly in John Lewis. In the past week, I've acquired a waffle iron, two tops and a biscuit tin.

Always a bit like this around holidays. They get me worked up and nervous beforehand, panicky during travel, i relax a bit for a couple of days, then get miserable about the coming home. when I get home, i have to remember what the everyday work thing is about, so it makes me even more rubbish! Just crap at change.

I will be back in a bit. When I've calmed down a bit, and have adjusted again. And hidden my credit cards.

I just don't know what to do with myself...

I just don't know what to do with myself...

Sock monkeys: Done, and given to a very tired little girl, for her journey home. She did seem very pleased, and it stopped her being grumpy for her Dad and my sister on the drive home.

Seaside Swap: Done, and posted. may take a little while to arrive due to postal strike stuff.

Teacosy: Done, wrapped, and handed over.

That's it for now. Going to give myself a few days off from knitting, but then it's back onto the baby cardigan, and thinking of something else to make...

Off for a nap now. But....It's my (mini) holidays in two weeks!!

Need to go to bed.

Ten to one in the morning. Ten monkeys with mouths, arms and legs, all velcro attached and checked.

Spoke to my mum today - as I'm going to my parents tomorrow (The monkeys must be ready for Sunday) she's said she'll help sew on 20 ears and eyes. Almost done.

Why did I think making 10 of them would be easy? Why didn't I start a week earlier!?

Almost there...

Seaside swap stuff done, and in a box, to be sent.

Ten Sock Monkeys have got legs and tails sewn on, with velcro on their feet. Just the arms mouths and ears to sew on.

Year end at work, (where all the systems get turned off to be reconciled. Seriously, anyone ever heard of a company doing that!? Told friends in finance, and they think I'm joking!) so all busy and stuff, until tomorrow night at about five, when we're done. That said, not as busy as last year, when I was concentrating on a future with the company, and happy to do a bit of unpaid overtime. Not this year.

But most importantly, I've been accepted for the Anthony Nolan Register, and have to get a sample of blood taken. I'm doing this by going to my local hospital next Tuesday morning. By typing that, and publishing it to the interweb, I have to go now. No matter how scary needles are! Nobody believes that I hate blood tests and injections, because of my pierced past. But it's a whole different matter.

My parents were both on the register for many years but are now too old, so I felt I should take over. It's part of the international register of bone marrow donors, and once your on, it tends to be in for the long haul. The whole idea of how they get the stuff out is a different matter, but its something I want to do, so I'm just ignoring that bit for now!

Pics of seaside swap to follow, when I know it's been received.

Calmer now.

Rant done with. Just definitely on the lookout for a new job now! But I'm also looking into starting my AAT training as a home study. Not the same as having support from work, and day-to-day experience, but its cheaper, and it'll get me a qualification.

I have also finished the tea cosy!
It's all ready to be wrapped up with some loose leaf tea, and handed over to my sister for safe keeping until Stevie's birthday. I've already apologised to her for having a football tea cosy in her house. Now just onto the sock monkeys. keep spending any free time I have doing the odd bit of sewing on them, but still so much to go! I did get them mentioned on the radio on Saturday though. Part of a request to end Iyares breakfast show on radio 6. So now they're truly famous. Ish.

Also got to get stuff finished for the Seaside Swap, but can't mention what yet, until its sent. It is making me miss the beach a lot. I'm rather peculiar in that although most people have some kind of bouncy happy music that reminds them of summer, I have the first Disturbed album that reminds me of spending my time in Bournemouth. Some good memories, some fantastic, some not so good. But generally when photos like this were taken:

It was about 2001, and I'm the second from the left. The summer always make me remember nights out in my local rock club, with the same girls. I get the same feeling of missing what it was like, but then a grateful relief that my life although not at its best right now, is a fair bit better than then. Does make me feel old and reclusive though. What happened so I can't stay out till 4am on a school night, and show up for work, feeling fine after far too many vodkas?! Not entirely keen on this growing older thing....

Warning: Rant to follow

I knew it was a bad day, when I dropped a weetabix on the patio this morning. (I was shaking out the crumbs from the box, for the birds.)

This could be because I was tired from staying up too late, watching Oldboy on TV. I have the DVD sat on a shelf, without ads and everything, but still I stayed up until 11pm to watch it! This is not the first time I've done this, and I doubt it will be the last. Anyone else do this with films?

On my way in to work, I was once again confronted by that disastrous fashion faux-pas, a white bra under a white top. It's a more common sight in the summer than winter, but why do -people not realise that a white bra, does not blend in, but reinforces the white in that area. Thus making the rest of your top look a bit grubby, apart from your bright white cleavage! Always wear a flesh coloured bra under a white top. Really, go and try it. I spent many months working in a New Look in Dorset explaining this to customers, and more recently bullied my mum into at least trying it. (She now accepts I am right on this, if nothing else.)

So I arrive at work, to discover I have been 'volunteered' to direct students around the college for the next two Monday mornings. All well and good, but some bright spark(under a proper work order, for the college) has taken all the numbers off the doors in the college - a maze at the best of times - so now its impossible. I have no idea where the students are meant to go, so my plan is to send them off on a long tour, then hide. It seems to be the only solution.

Oh well, at least I can sort out my future in the job, at my annual review. All gone well, generally praised, for m past years work. Mentioned on the form my aims and objectives, of maybe gaining my professional qualifications, which I've also mentioned numerous times to my manager, and always been told I have to wait until I'm out of the (year long) probation period. Fair enough. That ended last month. And today I was told that in part due top the financial climate, but predominately because of the needs and work in my role, I will not be getting any assistance with my AAT. Presuming most people won't know that this is the Association of Accounting Technicians. Very dull to most, but I want to get it, and it costs. Most people get sponsored by their company, for the money and day-to-day experience of accounting.

So now I'm sat in a job that will do absolutely bugger all for me. I'm still rather single, pretty skint, and for some reason, I have quit smoking, and pretty much stopped drinking too. Both seeming like rather daft ideas now.

At least there's cake. There'd better be a lot of cake.

All in all, a pretty crappy day. I should be dying my hair, but I can't be bothered. Normal service will be resumed later. After I've sat not wanting to do any knitting of tea cosies or sewing for the seaside swap or anything but sit and sulk. I may vent at my dad later. He's very good for things like that.

Thank you for reading this far. You are very kind.

Sorry.

My name is Kelly, and I'm addicted to sock monkeys.

I've now got ten of them sat in front of me, part made, all with legs, and a tail beside them ready to sew on. And I'm thinking of what colours to do the next lot in already.

Is there a 12 step plan or a support group for this sort of thing?

I didn't specify which weekend!

Ok. Been away a while. Not sure why, just didn't really feel I had anything to write, I suppose. I started to feel a bit like if I didn't write something soon, I'd end up not coming back . So here I am. Might be because I reached the first year of my blog. I started with Taste last year, and it's just gone by now. Doesn't feel like its been a year, but here I am. Year of a bad job, and singleness. Let's hope the next one goes a little better.

Taste last month was fantastic. There was a bomb scare before, so we all had to loiter about outside the park for an hour or so, but finally got in. Managed to spend far more than I should have, but no more than I'd planned. Got some lovely cakes, and biscuits, and ginger beer, and tasted a whole load of varied things, so felt a little bit sick by the end...
There was a woman doing the most wonderful fruit carving there again this year, and I'd remembered my camera so could share it with you. It's incredible how she manages it, such beautiful work. She makes it looke so easy, and then comes out with these great pieces. Don't know what happens to it afterwards, as it would seem a shame to throw it away, or cut it up to eat.

Sock Monkeys definitely seem the way forward, to win Isla's heart. These three (they were named Purple One, Blue One and Stripey One. Seemed appropriate.) are soon to be joined by a group of 10 smaller ones, with velcro hands and feet, to make chains and loops. I've got a small production line set up, with tails and mouths and eyes to be sewn on.
Her fathers tea cosy is still being made, but is getting there. Im now making a frill for the top, with "Follow, Follow..." written on it. Some Rangers anthem, apparently.

One month today, I shall be in Bruges! I've booked train tickets, a hotel, and travel insurance, and worked out when I need to get to the station. I like that I'm going on a Monday morning, when I should be going to work. I've got a little travel guide, so I know where to go, and what to see, and how to ask "Can I have a plate of chips please" (BIG on chips in Bruges. Theres a museum and everything!) Pretty much going to spend my time watching old ladies make lace, and visiting all the chocolate shops. (and yet another inspired museum!)

Well, that's pretty much it for me the past month or so. Not been that exciting, really. This weekend holds for much more tea cosy knitting, sock monkey sewing, and the baking of a banana cake and/or these lovely looking caramel shortbreads from Attic24's blog! (not sure how to do the link-back thing for blogs) Do love her crochet - I must learn how to, so I can make wonderful things in vibrant colours. Or just do similar in knitting. Probably that one.

Off to have some tea. A bloke at work tried to keep up with my tea drinking a couple of weeks ago. The poor fella only made it to 5 cups/2pm, before he admitted defeat, and had to give the standard post-lunch cup. (That's the one before the biccie or cake assisted one at 3pm.) When will these people realise I am 70% tannin...

Quick note

Had a really busy week, and still got a thousand things to do. But in recent news:

• Taste was fantastic. Couple of pics to come. We're off to the Christmas one next!
• Tea cosy still going well. Should be fine for August.
  
• I'm booking a holiday! Going to check my leave dates at work tomorrow, then I'm booking three nights in Bruge! First holiday on my own, so a bit scary...
• Sock monkeys make the best presents. Made Isla three the other day, and she adored them. Did have to do a few repairs, not through her damage to them, but from her dad's over-zealous play.
  

A better post over the weekend, promise.

Toaster danger!

Beware the heat of toasters.

I can never be bothered to wait for the oven to heat up, and cook naan breads the proper way, so I put them in the toaster. The packet doesn't say this is the right way to cook them (but it doesn't say not to, either...) but hey, if bread is ok, what's the difference, right?

Wrong! I now have a burn on my arm from the excessive heat of a seemingly innocent naan. It burnt me through a cardigan, as well!

Beware - toasters are hotter than they look!

Very busy Saturday.

Well, not so much busy, but full.

Started off getting up and going off to the post office to collect my parcel, from the Monkey Swap! Had the card for days now, just needed to collect it.

It was a parcel full of little bundles, and two lovely cards from Jenny at Gingerbread House.


Inside, were two cute sock monkeys, a purse and a pair of socks, all monkified (it's a word now)


Didn't have much time to look at them though, as I had to get off to Tower Bridge, for the WWKIP day.

I had seen the clouds outside my window first thing, and it looked cloudy. The BBC website implied a chance of rain, later in the day. I planned accordingly, and took an umbrella, and a raincoat. And then this happened...Blazing hot sun, all day!

We saw a lot of things on our travels, including an injured pigeon, a 21 gun salute for the queen, the Red Arrows (there was an attempt at a photo, but it was rubbish!)

Many moustaches were also worn, although I changed from my finger on, as it is VERY hard to knit with yarn on your hand, so I swapped to my homage to Des Lynam. I don't think it's a bad look for me.

Finally got home in the evening, and discovered I appear to have even caught a bit of colour. Quite an oddity for me, as I'm usually the colour of milk.

Now just to enjoy the remainder of a lovely sunny Sunday, with an ice-cream, I think.

World Wide Knitting In Public Day

It's the day to be out, bringing knitting to the masses.

Across the world, there's going to be people out knitting, willing to talk about it, give advice, teach you how, answer stupid questions. (There's alway going to be a smart-arse with a comment. Life teaches us this, if nothing more.)

But this year, as its for Prostate UK, we will be wearing knitted moustaches.


There's patterns available, for a donation, from the Stitch and Bitch website, to make a beauty like the one above, or something for more of a Daley Thompson look...

I'm off to the post office to collect my parcel, from my Monkey Swap partner! I hate it when you know there's something there, waiting for you, but you can't get to collect it until the weekend!

Three hours in...

...only two and a half home. Can't wait to see what time I manage tomorrow.

Got to love Bob Crow.




(I haven't got my monkey swap parcel yet, but I've got the red card through the door from the Post Office, to let me know its waiting!)

Ready to post

Right - Monkey Swap stuff done. all wrapped up in a box, addressed and ready to post in the morning. Obviously no pictures, as that would spoil it. Maybe afterwards though.

Now just to concentrate on the Seaside Swap...

Forgot to mention...

I am a jinx when it comes to summer. If I buy something, it'll bring on the rain. Happened last year with some sandals, and the year before with a dress.

Sorry!

Determined Shopping

Since Sunday, I have been into Dorothy Perkins about six times. Three of these, this evening after work.

But this has paid off, and I am now the proud owner of a lovely new blouse, first seen on the website!
Normally, by the time I get around to buying the things I see and like, they've sold out. So I decided to go pro-active with this one, and scour it out, ending up at the flagship store. It really was far too hot for trawling around shops, but this is so reminiscent of a dress I had when I was about 6, I had to get it, without fail!

Need to get my Monkey swap stuff finished, but Flight of the Conchords has just started on BBC3, so it'll have to wait.